february's fool

studying has never been a breeze for me, life is too good to have my head in a book all day long. sheesh. i've been told to focus. perhaps, it's rightly so since there are more important things in life to conquer first. and then because it's lent; i'm supposed to be fasting or depriving myself of fun or something to that extent. but. i think it's all just an excuse to avoid me. yes i got the hint. but i don't know if i'm going to go anywhere.

this blog was started when i was single (and have been ever since) then strayed to various other locations with more gory details and now it's more of a general updating interface. today, i'm surprisingly honest because i doubt people read this nowadays. nothing has changed, the net sum is still the same. there's still 1 of me, ?no ?other ?half, give or take a few heartbreaks and meltdowns. back to square one although there's been 7 years of experiences and revelations. just a thought, maybe ending it (the blog, nothing else) will be better for my love life? =p

let me just state for the record that i absolutely Hate playing games; manipulation and trickery do not sit well in my books. i'd rather take myself out of the equation if that's the case. does that explain why i suck at maintaining any kind of relationship with anyone? i doubt it, it just means that i run at the first sign of trouble and then somehow, always live to regret. although i'd hate to think i forced anyone into anything they didn't like, maybe it'll be different this time, stick it out and see what happens? sigh.

this, randomly, is just a photograph, of me throwing someone, that i like. =p