Sunday, June 13, 2004

guitar strumming... i miss it

i like to talk, but i can't laugh too much and my stitches burn and itch and make me wanna chew my mouth off. i like to write sometimes, but it's all just my plain simple words and sometimes unworkable pens piss me off. so i like to type. tap tap on the keyboard, something of a fluid motion by now, something of a comfortable controllable pace. neat, besides, my wrist is aching like mad.

my dreams are strange. i dreamt that someone disappeared. in fact he did that very long ago but nvm, and what's tragic is that no one even knew he existed cos the universe shifted so greatly that we were brought into another realm/paradigm that never had him in the first place. woah. i dun even understand where that came from. it could be from listening to sunny talk about how the entire solar system is more likely to go up in flames than be frozen. but that'll only happen when the sun has used up its big ball of fuel and fire - the sun is only now going through a mid-life crisis, it's not reached senior citizen status yet so that's one good thing. and by mid-life i mean oh only a few thousand billion years. at the rate we're going, we won't even be around in the next thousand years.

i'm the lucky one. bizarre dreams provide an escape. i'd like to go to india and volunteer at the mother theresa place. no idea what it's called but it sure sounds like something that you should do after living so long in such comfort. i hear the needy people there are extremely nice and don't attempt to steal from you, and though they have no food, shelter or clothes, they don't fight and squabble like neighbours in joo chiat =) i really feel like going there, who wants to come with me? if no one, it's fine too. i just want to go somewhere where no one cares who i am or whatever, and do something more useful with my life. i won't admit i have wanderlust, but i'd like to fly away... flapflapflap =) better than camp famine, which is a ridiculous waste of 30 hours of your life without having helped someone. but that can be quite appealing to some, maybe even me if i'm in the right mood.

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