Saturday, August 13, 2005

deep inside of you

woman, you have great faith

it's one of the few things in life that are important, and still very intangible. actually most things that are truly important are quite hard to quantify, like health or happiness. you cannot follow blindly, but yet it must be founded in trust and that involves a bit of blindness too; isn't that the nature of faith? i don't know what to do with the traditions, what some think are rituals, which are comforting and familiar to me, and now slightly hollow. until i re-examine everything and put meaning into it. or maybe it's already meaningful but i've become so strangely disconnected from it that it's high time to change things. i want to have no trace of doubt in my mind. maybe it's the recent barrage, that's causing me to try and find something more than what i already know, to make me a little less cynical and my heart a little fuller.

today i sang, i prayed and i listened, and i digested it and have decided that. i need to make a Conscious Effort to improve certain apects of my life. haha being easily amused doesn't make me a better person, it just makes it easier for me to set such low expectations from myself and others. in fact i was quite content with who i am till just before dinner. no, nothing to do with food. haha. goodnight everyone!

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