don't stop

blahblahblah. i am eating japanese crackers while waiting for dinner to be cooked. can't stop stuffing food in my mouth. total unhealthiness. just packed in about 5kg of food to bring to my mum's friend's son in king's. my mum has another 5kg of ba chang. so cute right. am having serious doubts about studying overseas. really it's not a stupid thing to think about, because if you study overseas your spouse will most likely be from there, or you'll be an old maid. ARGGGHHH ;D maybe guys think it's stupid (eg. mr gn) but noooo, i cannot get married then how?! =p

hate being nagged about messy room. mainly because my room is NOT messy and because i cleared it the day before. wth. it really isn't! the books are in their shelves, the clothes are nicely hung up, there is no trace of food (yeah i ate them all), the computer is as neat as it can be. but too bad. everything is just imperfect in her eyes, my hair stinks, my teeth are crooked, my knees look like knobs, my feet are too small, my arms are too hairy, my shoulders are too broad. list is inexhaustive. and you wonder why i look at myself and loathe being me every single day. anything that wasn't done by her is doubtlessly flawed. fucked up right. but that's the way parents are aren't they. they are put in charge of us so we become nitpickers just like them. i find myself correcting people when i can easily shut up, picking up after peope's messes, and shudder at the thought of becoming an anal retentive control freak.

just mailed qiuyun. dreamt of her the other night. so strange, the both times i dreamt of her, they were bad dreams, and i had to tell her about it. eek. oh oh just found out that someone is somewhere! erps, talk about being vague. hai. jo come back i miss you =(