one without a permanent scar

i don't remember the days i loved you
i don't remember the day i stopped loving you
i remember that night i didn't like you
and i hate myself, and i hate you

phone call till 230 last night/this morning. yes, things would've been mightily different had i waited a day, but what's over is over and i'm sure it's gonna lead to something magical. sooner or later. sooner please? can only hope anyway. do you think i'm incredibly stupid? any smart person would've told him to just forget her, but NO being the fix-it-all i am (haha) i just had to give him good advice. not just this time but many others before, that i'll be kicking myself for in no time. hm, do we really need a boyfriend to feel happy? please don't go around thinking you're incomplete without one. he's only called "the other half" cos they've been called that since ages ago; in reality girls can do just fine independent of that half. no i'm no man-hater, quite the contrary. but i need to comfort myself for now :)

by the way, i feel like such a fool. telling the whole entire world (save for one friend) one thing, thinking the complete opposite. shudder in self-disgust at the lie, even worse than meaningless words are hypocritical ones =/

the pope died this morning, while i was sleeping like a pig. i'm a bit sad cos i'm sure he was a pretty fine person of character who had so much influence. he reprimanded presidents and yet was humble enough to visit the poorest places on earth. can't wait for a cardinal conclave! erps too much dan brown =p tomorrow seems like a packed schedule. lunchwithjo, netballcourt touch, meetinghon. woo. can't imagine the day when my schedule will be summed up in one word - work. eeyurgh, don't want >_<