Friday, November 03, 2006

inflamed earlobe

yes, my earlobe is throbbing and is on the verge of inducing a headache. AND i haven't had my daily dose of csi. so i shall be slightly nothappy on my ratherhappy blog.

somehow there doesn't seem to be anyone great around. for someone surrounded by so many, there are only a few good ones, more than enough hi-bye ones and for once in my life really bad ones! the great ones are few and far between. so few and so far and so conditional. i'm only glad that i've got msn and been waking up at 6am (to mug!! gimme a nobel prize for the effort please - and f-off if you want to make snide comments about mugging, right hons! aka miss s.p! okay to be honest it's also cos i sleep at 1130) just in time to catch jo for our talkcock sessions and bobbsy byes ;)

i suspect it's my fault though. to be loved you have to be loveable. don't know why it's so hard. maybe i've met them too late, when things are getting complicated and unpleasant, when it's hard to trust and be trusted, when there are too many things to sacrifice just for the sake of a so-called friendship. just look around and see how many times people get played out and you'll know what i'm talking about. or maybe it's because there's only one best one out there for each of us, and i've already got mine so there. but still, friday night alone as usual. what's new. at least i now have the exams to blame too.

my god so angsty. okay i'm actually pretty content - who needs more if all they're going to do is say hi and bye then forget you the minute you walk past. i'm already very okay with the ones i have and love dearly - just contemplative that's all.

if friends were flowers, i'd pick you, you and you :)

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