Friday, July 27, 2007

our lives are made in these small hours

maybe you can rationalise a feeling away, push it aside till it's more convenient or till it fades into oblivion. if you can, the question is, will you?

i like the little moments that prove we have the littlest connection - a squeeze of the hand, when i catch your eye and see the glimmer of a smile. but i want more. it's not that i don't treasure these basic acts of humanity, it's just there's this feeling of incompletion; there's so much more i want to do.

i like the minutes of silence. they prove that words are not always necessary - friendship is heartwarming (body-warming too if the room is cold haha) especially when there is enough quiet for you to pause and reflect. yet it makes you crave more closeness. well, me at least.

i like the hours of shyness. like an awkward first date, the thrill of getting ready for it then blushing throughout dinner and a movie, staring at each other's shoes, bumping elbows by accident, the bemusing struggle to speak wittily, or coherently, if at all. oh so gawky but oh so adorable. i don't want to be too old to experience that. potential means nothing to me now.*

i like the days people spend together and not get sick of each other. if you know me at all, you would be able to estimate my attention span - secondsminuteshours. never days and months, much less years. i'm envious of all the anniversaries. i'm envious of the people who devote themselves for eternity and are absolutely blissful because of it. why not i?

time falls away, but these small hours remain.

*i'll definitely need to retract that statement, but for tonight/that paragraph, bah.

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